I'm sorry for taking so long to update... but I feel like I have nothing to post now because Im not in a relationship. So excuse my absence. I am just so confused about love. All my "relationships" have been purely online. And yes most people do not agree with those and that is totally fine. I find them better on some levels because a person begins to love you for who you are on the inside... rather then a physical attraction. However, I know it has the down side of never seeing them and the risk of the person lying. Anyways so those are basically my relationship expiernce. My only real contact with the male species is 2 one-night stands at 2 different parties. Yes, trust me, I am not proud of my acts... so kindly do not leave rude comments. I only let myself have them because I was vulnerable.. and never have felt wanted nor desirable by the male species.. but then again, I still dont because each guy was way beyond drunk so obviously any girl would have looked good to them. So basically i have no expierence with guys..... and I feel I never will.
I just want to give up on love. I'm 18 years old and without a boyfriend.... and i've never had a real one. I want the companionship, the closeness and the obvious other great things. However, all guys are looking for is someone based on looks. And trust me.... I am not pretty nor attractive so Im SOL!
Then again, I dont know if I could ever allow myself to ever get close to a guy... to let him into my world and discover who I really am. Love is such a complicated thing... and I do not want to be used for the sexual aspects and believe it is love.
Im just confused.... and on the brink of giving up on love all together...