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[09 Jul 2005|12:29pm]

do any of you honestly beleive in fate? and that if your meant to be with someone, you will? Please tell me your honest opinions and experiences with it. Because my boyfriend is caught between me and another girl, he loves both of us and can't seem to make his descion. H ewas dating both of us for quite some time and since we're both long distance with him, we never found out about the other. Anyways, I'm so afraid of loosing him. I know what him and I have is special, but he feels just as much for her as he does for me.

I just need some tips on how to get myself through this. I'm trying to tell myself that if we're meant to be together we will be. But if we're not, I honestly can't thik of myself with anyone else but him. He's so wonderful and I don't see how any guy could ever take his place.

tips or help, especially on if fate is real or a bunch of b/s
¤kiss goodnight¤

FINALLY!!! [16 Oct 2004|09:28pm]

[ mood | grateful ]

glad to have finally become friends with the ex... don't get me wrong, at times it is so awkward, but he knows me better than anyone. we went through alot of the past year, but it think that all the hard times that we went through, will just make us have a stronger friendship!

¤kiss goodnight¤

Question [09 Oct 2004|11:34pm]

I have a question....

My friend Alex is going into the Navy, he's sent off to boot camp on the 19th. I want to be able to keep in touch with him. But we've only talked through internet and telephone.. and I feel awkward if I gave him my home address to write me letters. Is there some service I can use so we can send letters back and forth without giving our addresses while he's at boot camp?

I'd apperciate if anyone knows!
1 kisses| ¤kiss goodnight¤

Im giving up poor ole love soon.... [01 Oct 2004|06:58pm]

Just read for recent troubles...

Read more...Collapse )
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A Perfect Community For Muah! [18 Sep 2004|03:50pm]

[ mood | loved ]

This Journal is great! I have a kind long love story, but will try to keep it short but sweet.

I have been with my Man,Bryce, for going on four years. During the first year of our relationship, he got into a car accident that forced him to have Major Back Surgery otherwise his back would slowly but surely deteriate. So, we had the surgery. Not thinking about the outcome. He went in, and couldn't finish the Surgery. He lost a lot of blood, and his lungs even collappsed. Hardest thing you ever have to do is go into the hospital and have the doctor tell you that he's not going to make it. It killed me too. Their were days that he'd be lying in the hospital bed, and since he had lost so much weight. Weighting only around 105 pounds, I couldn't eat, sleep, NOTHING! Their were days that I'd just sit, and sit by his bedside. Hoping, and praying for the best. One day I remember walking and walking as I would sometimes do throughout the hospital. I just could'nt help myself, and started balling my eyes out, walking down the hospital hallways, I went and set down in a tiny corner overlooking the parking lot. Next thing, a guy came over and sat down next to me, I couldn't help myself and spilled everything. How hurt I was, how scared I was, how much I loved him, and was so scared that I would lose him. I remember the guy holding me rubbing my back, telling me over and over "he's strong Monica, he'll be o-kay tell him you love him, and he'll see his way through it." When I looked back up to thank the guy .... HE WAS GONE! I thought that in that time that I was wipeing my face, that maybe he turned the corner, so I got up looked around me, and looked and looked. Couldin't find him. Asked the closest Recptionist if she knew where the gentlemen was that was sitting right beside me, and she told me that she didn't see anyone sitting beside me. I'VE NEVER BEEN SO SCARED IN MY LIFE! A year before that had happend, my Uncle Fernie, died. Kind of sudden, and he's helped my family in so many ways, and I beleive in my heart that he helped me that day. Because, after that I went in and told Bryce how much I loved him. Went home. THe next day Bryce, was up eating and wanting to go for a walk in the court yard. Ever since, then bryce has made a remarkable recovery. He is so strong, and so is our relationship.

I took our love for granted. I did. I never thought that a thing like that could happen, but it can.

He's okay now, still in pain a lot, but he's walking, talking, eating! More importantly he's here with me. Where we are meant to be together i know now, for the rest of our lives!


Love Always,


I hope to bring a sense of love, to this community, and some good advice on life just being way too short!

¤kiss goodnight¤

Time to let go [10 Sep 2004|05:32am]

I let go....

I told Alex that I can't wait for him... and I cant be with him. It hurts too much to know what he did to me. I finally gave up after a week of waiting to hear from him to see if we could fix everything. But we can't. I lost respect for him as a person after he told me he cheated on me. It still mind boggles me... is all guys think with is thier dicks? Is love just not enough? Maybe I just need someone who is here... not across the country. I need to held and able to look at someone in the eyes. So hopefully one day I will find a guy. I hope I find someone who makes me feel loved and appericated. Hey...maybe thats what college will be for!

Although I find it quite amusing that after Im all heart-broken my friend Nick offers me the whole friends with benefits deal. I doubt I'll take the offer but still makes me laugh to think about it!

I just wish love were easier....
2 kisseses| ¤kiss goodnight¤

[03 Aug 2004|01:10am]

[ mood | busy ]

o got my vow out of the way so now its time for thew real stuff. anthony said he moght have a question for me before summer is out. im scared though cuz i dont want him to be interested by other girls while were in school since y know we go to different schools. but i will be really happy at the same time. so im hopin to talk to him tomarrow, i cant wait to hear his voice, it makes me sooo happy and bouncy. kinda giddy.

1 kisses| ¤kiss goodnight¤

MY VOW [03 Aug 2004|01:04am]

[ mood | stressed ]

hey every1. im making a vow to you guys that i cannot cut myself for at least a month. i kno you think im crazee and your gonna tell me to stop but its not that easy. i cant just stop and let go. thats why im making a start with a month and if i fail well at least i tried. if theres any1 here that wants to support please do. i need all the help from every1.love britt

1 kisses| ¤kiss goodnight¤

Our Story [29 Jul 2004|10:07am]

[ mood | confused ]

We were only 16. I watched him pass me by the hallways every morning and wonder if he noticed me. By chance we happened to get the same class that year. Math! I hated that class, he was my only reason for going. Then one day I noticed the sparkle in his eyes when he looked at me. Then being the fool that I was, I let all my insecurities get the best of me. The fear of getting hurt took over and I pushed him away. Always keeping him close enough to have in my life but far enough to not get hurt. The game continued on for many years. We hurt each other badly yet we couldn't stay away, couldn't give each other up. Life took me away unexpectedly at the height of our best times, when we began to sort our love out and gave ourselves to each other completely, but I had to leave there was no way out of it. We stayed in touch until the miscommunication took over and I could no longer hold on to him, I would not let myself hold him back. So we both moved on. Moved on to different places and different faces. Still there remained a thin string that he had attached to my heart that would not snap, break or tear, it would just tug at me at random moments never letting me forget him. We remained friends through out those years, always at arms length never quite able to see each other in person. Too many emotions would engulf the both of us and his new relationship would strain under the pressure of our friendship. The decision was made to not talk at all. We said our goodbyes the best we could and spent a year without a single form of contact. I took a deep breath and decided to wait, the time would come again for us but now was not that time. Then fate stepped in. It decided to put us at the same place at the same time and give us one more chance. He was caught between the two of us. The choice had to be made again. I stepped back and I made no promises. All I asked for was for him not to regret his decision whatever it was. Now here we are seven months later in a new relationship. We've loved each other like never before and hurt each other the same. Yet we can't be apart. Here we are going strong, no more games. So where do we go from here? We are now 22, our adult lives are beginning. Is the next natural step marriage? Is it wise to break up for the sake of seeing where we really stand? We both seem to want the break but are too afraid to take it. Too afraid of loosing each other and having to struggle to get back what we now have. We have been through so much this past year. So much drama so much happiness and so much sadness. How do we move on from here? Is this a natural occurrence in all relationships. We've gone through all the hurdles and supported each other through so much. So many years have gone into bringing us to this point. We are happy yet there's that feeling of needing time apart. Is that normal? Has it been too much for the both of us? Should we take our break?

¤kiss goodnight¤

love and its pain [29 Jul 2004|04:47am]

[ mood | painfully in pain ]

love has never been a very eventful thing for me. although im only 15 i look for it because it would me i could be happy about something in my uneventful and depressing life. i fell in love with a boy two years ago when i first laid eyes on him. his name was larry. he was new in school and i made it a point to talk with him. i left my phone number on his binder and to my surprise he called me later that day. we talked and then everyday after that we talked on the phone for hours each day. it was sooo great. he was my best friend until my freshman year(his 8th grade year) when he finally asked me out. i didnt want to ruin the friendship but i said yes anyways. it was great i loved him. i can still feel his arms around me. he hated this but i loved it. i used to call him lare-bare. i miss him soo much. he got caught dealing drugs on school campus and was forced to finish school there but then he was expelled. he dumped me because he ws jealous of me talking to other guys and because he was moving. we had never done anything sexual except make out and i think thats why we worked so well together. then he waws gonna ask me back out so he could get more sexual things from me but then changed his mind. i was so sad and hurt. i couldnt beleive it. and since then i have been wary of other men. i have dated many after hom but they all hurt me sooo bad. especially a guy i went to school with. the hottest trumpet player i have ever seen. i liked him but my feeling for him soared after we spent 3 days in close contact because our school band went to san francisco to do a concert and hang out at an amusment park. i told him my feelings and i kept seeing him more. he gave me a ride in his bronco into eugene to see a girl who we were both close friends with perform in her school concert. we talked and he tod me he knew my secret but wasnt sure how he felt about me. i left it at that for the night. then about a month later him and his friend came over to this girls house i was staying at and i ended up losing my virginity to him on her sisters bed.him and josh came over later that night and we finished what we started. see earlier we almost got caught but we all escaped out the back door. then he was threw with me. i was so hurt. i have cut myself for this and i cant beleive that i could have fallen for him. i hate myself for it. but there is someone new and extrodenary. his name is anthony and we have been friends since febuary. im hoping one day we can be an item becase hes great with everything. i love his voice and charming personality. even though i still love larry deep down in my heart i know theres room for another guy who can make me happy now, its just i gotta find him. and i cant wait untill he shows up, cuz i desperatly need someone to care for me.

1 kisses| ¤kiss goodnight¤

Go to this community about love! [29 Jul 2004|04:36am]

img src="http://pic15.picturetrail.com/VOL615/2359530/4658435/60680423.jpg

Go here, its about the love of your life!
¤kiss goodnight¤

[19 Jul 2004|03:41pm]


go join that
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HIYA!! [18 Jul 2004|04:03pm]
[ mood | ...WoO-hOo ... ]


I'm new and I love all the posts that have been made because they have all been helped by someone or more then one person. It's really great and I look forward to being in this community.

1 kisses| ¤kiss goodnight¤

Just ranting... Sorry if it's sort of long. [16 Jul 2004|07:07pm]

[ mood | chipper ]

I just joined the community; I've enjoyed reading everyone's posts! I just figured I'd rant about how my boyfriend and I met... Sorry if it's boring ;/.

When I was small, I used to live in the county next to mine. My dad was a coal miner and my mom was a housewife, taking care of little me. Needless to say we didn't have a lot of money, so we lived in a trailor park through the first three years of my life. Here, we lived next to a woman, a man who worked with my dad, and two little boys. Everyday the woman, named Donna, would come over to my house and get me, taking me over to stay with her and her two sons for the whole day. Her husband would come home from work and play with me all of the time; he was dying to have a little girl of his own. Their two sons, Tim and Chris, were my best friends back then and I was a miniature tom boy, always playing with dump trucks and GI Joes! At the age of three, my dad decided to transfer jobs to become the Superintendent over a mines close to the county I live in today. Not long after we moved, so did they, further into my previous county I lived in, and they finally conceived their third child; a little girl! They were all so excited. They would all come together and travel to where I live today on occasion and the little girl, Jamie, and I would play together with Chris and Tim. It wasn't too many years after we moved here that the visits lessened and there were many years before seeing our neighbors again. Actually, it was last year, on June 14th 2003, that we ever had any contact with one another. I was attending a program called Upward Bound, where I stay at a nearby college for six weeks each Summer, when one morning before returning, there was a phonecall... The little girl that Donna and her husband had together, only a couple of years younger than myself, had been killed with her boyfriend in a car accident. The family was devestated; all their lives they had wanted a little girl, but now it was being taken away. I wasn't able to attend the Funeral, as bad as I hate to say that. But, My mom went, and was asked where I was at by the two boys. She came back, telling me about everything, and bragging a lot about Tim, the youngest boy, and how much he had grown up and how good looking he was. I didn't believe her; what do moms know?, so I shunned her off.. Well, time went by and my mother and Donna became in contact with one another quite often and the both of them kept pushing us to meet with one another again. As hesitant as we both were, one Sunday morning in January, she brought him to my house after he got off of work. I walked out of my room that morning and my life was changed. I had recovered from my boyfriend cheating on me after two and a half years and didn't think I would ever care about anyone again... But seeing him, and looking into his eyes gave me butterflys. I never, ever, believed in love at first sight until that moment. We talked forever that day, like we had known each other all our lives.. Which actually, we had! lol.. We dated for a long time, and finally he asked me to be his girlfriend. I gave him the hard to get method for a while and finally said yes to him on February 28th. We have been together every since, and although we have our fights and such like every other couple, we have made it through and plan to someday be married. It's like it was meant to be... God sent me him when the time was perfect and he couldn't have sent me anyone any better! He is a great boyfriend and person... He does what he can for his family, attends church, and works in the Coal Mines from 10:30 PM until 10:00 AM... He's hardworking and makes sure that I have anything I want, although I never ask for anything. I'm so proud of him and he is all I could ever ask for or want...

*!~Tara Loves Tim~!*

1 kisses| ¤kiss goodnight¤

Navy Man [15 Jul 2004|11:39pm]

I was just wondering but, how many people actually have thier significant other in a branch of the military? I mean, Alex my boyfriend, will be going to boot camp for the Navy in October. And I was wondering, how hard was it for those of you who have boyfriends/husbands in the military? I mean how long do you normally get to see them and everything. I know Alex will get shipped off for weeks/months on end and that will be so hard for us! We hate not getting to talk one to two days.. but months or weeks without talking, it'll be so hard! So any of you with advice or anything, it'd be apperciated!

p.s-This is a purely internet/phone type of relationship at the moment.
1 kisses| ¤kiss goodnight¤

Confused .... [15 Jul 2004|12:56am]

[ mood | Love is Confusing ]

My ex boyfriend and i are still friends after being with each other for a year and a half and now that i have another boyfriend everything is so weird. Well he still wants to be with me and even though a small part is saying yes i dont think its the right thing to do. But what is aggravating me is that my mom kinda treats my new boyfriend bad and always is giving me smart remarks because she wants me to be with my ex still. What sh doesnt understand is that i am hurting alot and really being back with him will not solve anything. It's hard when you with someone for a while and there like family cause now you've split from all their family not just them. And what really sucks is my new boyfriend can tell shes kinda pushing him away. I am so confused and dont know what to do. Who ever thought love was so painful at times....

2 kisseses| ¤kiss goodnight¤

[12 Jul 2004|09:48am]

I've been in Atlanta visiting my boyfriend for 2 weeks now. I leave Friday...I really don't wanna. I hate it that we're so far away(he's in Georiga, I'm in New York). I guess I should be lucky that I'm here at all. I wasn't supposed to see him until August, but something happened to his dad and his dad ended up dying...We buried his dad on July 3rd. His mother flew me out here. She's really great. His sister is a sweetheart as well. His sister ended up telling me she loves me and thinks of me as a sister and his mom told me to call her mom and has told me she loves me as well. It made me feel happy, I almost cried. Saturday night after the funeral Carlos proposed and caught me completely off guard. (: So yayness I'm now engaged. I'm planning on going back to college in NY and he's gonna look around and try to find a job by me so we can be together and after I get my vet tech degree we're gonna move back to Atlanta and I'm gonna get a job and go from there to see if I wanna go for the vet degree. He's supposed to come up in August for a couple of days to visit, I can't wait. But being without him is gonna seem like forever. When I leave I'm gonna end up crying so much, he couldn't get off of work to be at the airport with me, they wouldn't even let him off early and that sucks because I want him to be the last thing I see before I get on the plane but ): it's not gonna work out that way...
6 kisseses| ¤kiss goodnight¤

Finding Love [11 Jul 2004|09:53am]

[ mood | happy ]

Over the past year or so, I have kept a journal on xanga.com. Through this journal service, I began talking to a good friend of mine named Alex. We never talked for long periods of time nor very often. He was just my buddy ole' pal. Never in a million years would I have thought that the two of us would fall in love.

For one thing, he lives in California... while I live here in Ohio. Which totally sucks because I can't see him yet. And I know it sounds ridiculous to fall in love and begin a relationship but, I find these internet relationships are so much more meaningful because you don't look at someone's looks right off hand.. but thier personality. But anyways, over the past year, I have gone through tons of heartache!
One boyfriend stopped loving me after almost 3 years.. one couldnt handle me after a month.. and one just flat out lied to me! This one guy Landon, lied to me for six months when he really had a local girlfriend that I never knew about! Then, I lost my virginity to a random guy at a party because I was going through a rough point within my life and felt self-destructive. So, love was completely tearing me apart! And yet Alex was there all along!!!

Then about two weeks, I asked Alex what his true feelings for me were. And everything just clicked from that day forth. And I am completely happy! He makes me feel so good! He makes me smile and laugh! And he tells me that Im his queen and my heart just completely melts.

The only bad part is that he is going to boot camp in October so, we wont be able to talk for weeks! And then if everything works out.... he will always be away because of the Navy! But, Im willing to accept that because I love him so much!

Yay for love!

3 kisseses| ¤kiss goodnight¤

[10 Jul 2004|04:52pm]

[ mood | sad ]

I posted this on another community but didnt get much answers so maybe you all can help

I was just wondering...what is everyones take on here about online dating?

Okay so me and this guy had been "online dating" for about 9 months. I know some people consider that to be very immature, child like, and desperate, but there was something about him I just couldn't get enough of. I seriously cared about him, he told me he loved me and missed me all the time and I honestly thought I was in love with him. I saw his picture, and we had been saving money so I could fly to where he lives and we could spend some time together. I found out-through his friends and mine- that he had been with about 6 other girls while with me and in sexual relationships with them all. I guess I was very thrown back by that, because he had told me that even though it was online, it was serious, and we were only going to date each other.
I was shocked, to know that a guy that seemed so completlty perfect would go and cheat and have sex with any other girl, much less 6 of them. I felt so used, like some online toy that was just an occupation of his time for when he got bored with his other 6 girls. I confronted him about it, asking him wtf was he thinking?
Then he goes and plays dumb with me, and he proceeds to tell me that every time I ever talked to him online, or emailed him, it wasn't him. He told me that his ex girlfriend had all his passwords and it was really HER, not him who i was talking to all along. He said the picture was really his, but one that SHE had on her computer of him from when they were dating. He said when i called him, it was him i was talking to, but he never had any idea who I was. He said he was just playing along. He told me that anything he ever said to me, he didn't mean, and he never even cared about me at all.
I feel used. What kind of sick person would go and pretend to be a GUY and make me belive they care about me?? make me beleive that Im in love with this person...who turns out to be a girl?? I feel like a lesbian. I most certainly am not, but Ive been flirting with a girl this whole time, and not a guy??? Its disgusting! Im disgusted.

But my question is, do you all think jimmy ( the b/f) was just making all of that up? maybey because he was mad I had caught him cheating? Because I don't know for certain it was his ex pretending to be him, I havn't spoken with her. Part of me tells me he was mad i caught him and didn't want me to yell at him anymore, so he just made up some excuse. He was also at a buddies house when he told me this, so maybe his guy friend was standing behind him and jimmy didnt want anyone to know he was doing such an un cool thing as online dating?? so he told me it was his ex the whole time and not him?
But then the other part of me really makes me thinks it his ex because when he was giving me his number in the begining of the relationship, he FIRST gave me his exes ( i know because i called it) and then he signed back on and told me "opps sorry thats my old number, heres my real one". So in that case, 1) it was his ex,giving out her number just by instinct or 2) it was jimmy, and he had his ex on his mind.

Its just you find someone so perfect...and you find out their a girl?? Its like a whole part of your life is ripped away.

So PLEASE PLEASE you guys, tell me what you think!! please tell me if you think it was jimmy all along or if it was really his ex posing as him. This subject has been botering me for some time.

5 kisseses| ¤kiss goodnight¤

I-Squad [08 Jul 2004|02:45am]


To join an i-squad and get points to earn free music and prizes and its FREE !!! Join if you love music there are so many artists! Just click the link and sign up!
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